My letter to Philip

Philip Wolfe

Back in October of 2008, near the time of his birthday, I wrote the following letter to my youngest son. With his permission, I’m sharing it with you here.

Dear Philip,

You are sixteen now, and I want to write you about some things that are on my heart. 

Please know how much I admire and respect you, son.  I think you are an amazing young man.  You are doing so many difficult and worthwhile things and doing them so well.  More than what you are doing, though, I admire the person you are: kind, respectful, considerate of others, enthusiastic, funny, and adventurous.  People love to be with you for these and other reasons.  You are respected by your peers and appreciated by your teachers. 

Also on my mind is this: I’d like to encourage you to find your heroes and to think about them.  I have my heroes and, although I know that, with one exception, none of them is perfect, I like to think about their admirable qualities.  My musical heroes include Leonard Bernstein, Johann Sebastian Bach, and Josef Haydn.  My American heroes, Abraham Lincoln and George Washington among them, were men of faith, principle, and intelligence.  My Christian heroes from the twentieth century, including Yoon Kwon Chae and Corrie Ten Boom, were tested and tried in a crucible of suffering and proved themselves faithful over a long period of time. 

My heroes, of course, reflect in some way my greatest hero, Jesus Christ.  For instance, Bernstein’s gift for communicating great ideas to the masses, Bach’s dedication to Christ and to the utter perfection of his craft, and Haydn’s unfailing joy and wit, inspired as they were by God, all reflect the person of Jesus in some way. 

Now, I mention my heroes not because I expect you will adopt them, because you need to find your own.  Rather, I mention them because I want you to know that you can keep heroes in your mind and heart even when you find out that they are imperfect.  Young people often become disillusioned when they discover that someone they highly respect has done something wrong or persists in a flaw of character.  While that is understandable, it doesn’t change the fact that everyone has something admirable about his or her life.  We choose our heroes and our disillusionments. 

Children younger than you look up to you and want to be with you, because they know that you consider them special and valuable.  You already are a hero to people younger than you.  I hope you will remember that during your life, even when you are tugged in many different directions because of your talents.  You have much to offer.  Choose wisely what that will be. 

Thank you for being my son. 

Love,

Dad